Wayne drops keep falling on my head

Article by Gerry McDonnell

I am no stranger to a lazy stereotype. I’m half-Irish and I’m married to a Scot, so some men and women imagine we keep at home all day smoking crack and peeling potatoes which is only fifty percent genuine.

It could be even worse even though, I could be bald. Britney Spears was considered a wholesome entertainer when she had flowing locks but the second she showed solidarity with the follicly challenged, the authorities took her children away.

It’s not just tubby Americans who persecute the hairless. When Andy Johnson had a minor decoration on his head, he was awarded penalties and his targets were allowed to stand now he’s shunned like Lewis Hamilton on a weekend trip to Majorca.

Personally I feel it’s a scenario of raging gingerism, as baldness is their only legit hope of a lifestyle no cost or mockery. I’ll make a stand towards these peladophobic gingerphobes by supporting AJ’s Everton at 4/7 towards a struggling Looking at.

Ryan Babel is an additional player who deserves our sympathy. Rafa perplexingly continues to bench the flying Dutchman: the only way he’ll be promoted to a starter is if he bumps into Frank Lampard. Chelsea will devour the struggling Reds at a mouthwatering eleven/ten.

Harry Redknapp has hit the jackpot with the signing of Jermain Defoe. The Pompey manager is just like King Midas – it’s considered that the King’s son was a real nause. I’ll be droning on endlessly about the nine/4 for a draw involving Bolton and Portsmouth.

Derby were a great deal significantly less successful with their attempts at January shopping. Paul Jewell signed Laurent Robert on a free of charge transfer I assume he overpaid. Tottenham are the weekend banker at 8/13 in opposition to the terrible Rams.

Birmingham had been dealt a knockout blow by a player named Villa final week, so it was a typical Derby match. It is just one particular win in eleven matches now for the Blues West Ham look a great shout at 17/20 to improve the strain on the Massive Eck.

Premier League attendances now common 36,000 a match, which is a fifty 12 months higher. The figure would have threatened the 40,000 mark, if it wasn’t for Middlesbrough. One particular guy and his dog will see Boro destroy Fulham at 10/11.

Roy Keane will be wanting forward to reuniting with Steve Bruce, as they haven’t observed every single other because filming Cinderella. I’ll flip into a pumpkin if Sunderland fail to oblige in opposition to Wigan at 23/20.

The loss of Agbonlahor will be a enormous blow for Aston Villa. Gabby has aggravated a hamstring – he accidentally knocked his pint more than. The return of Young will soften the blow for the Villans the tactically shrewd Martin O’Neill will bamboozle Kevin Keegan’s Toon Army at 10/11.

A hamstring injuries has also ruled the influential Tomas Rosicky out of Arsenal’s match towards Blackburn. Rosicky is recognized as ‘little Mozart’, due to his capability to orchestrate the midfield. Personally, I’m a huge fan of Chopin: I often buy a massive bag of potatoes. I can absolutely deal with the four/eleven for an Arsenal win around Blackburn.

Following a protracted saga, Manchester City have ultimately signed Benjani, and I can claim with tiny worry of contradiction that Pompey’s reduction is Manchester City’s loss. An Elano-significantly less, Benjani-total Metropolis will almost certainly shed out to Manchester United at one/3.

Wayne Rooney will miss the Manchester derby after getting a booking for hurling his significant weight to the floor previous week in an alleged act of simulation. Rooney would in no way cheat, so I can only conclude that the referee cautioned him for his ginger stubble and an progressively receding hairline. Aston Villa, Tottenham, Everton, Middlesbrough and West Ham sort not only an outstanding sixteen/1 accer it really is also a symbol of hope for our continually oppressed pool-ball headed brothers.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.